Second Post Ever “Everything to Everyone”

I often say that if you want to get something done you have to ask a busy person, but I wonder if that is really and truly true. Does it fall under the heading you can’t be everything to everyone? Probably. But that has never stopped me.

We, the brethren of the why do when you can overdo order, know what I’m talking about. Why go out and buy ready made Valentine’s Day cards when you can make them and decorate them yourself from scratch…oooh it wil be a fun project with your kid. How about this one, why get a cake from the store when you can stay up until 2am making your own cupcakes with homemade candy fairy wings on them, they’ll be so much more special. Or, don’t worry I’ll pick up the dogs’ pills after I drop the kids off at school before I go to work on my way to Target to get toilet paper and mouthwash and don’t worry about dinner I’m making homemade pot stickers. I can’t be alone, male and female we all do it, maybe its a disease like OCD or bulimia.

I fall into my predicament with good reason, at least that is what my conscious brain keeps blathering to me. I’m not a people pleaser, I don’t act because I get high of off someone elses happiness or because I can’t stand to upset them. I don’t take praise particularly well and I listen carefully to critical advice. I have become the everything to everyone person out of necessity. I do because I have to. If I don’t do it no one else will.

I’m not complaining. No one is holding a gun to my head and making me take on another project. I figured it out though, I need to be needed, everyone does. Some of us just have an unrealistic way of trying to make that happen. Like me, I make myself needed by doing so much people naturally assume I’ll take care of it or them and then I have to because it is expected and they won’t do it. Of course I’m writing this as my fantastic husband is tackling a build up of laundry and feeding the dog. I just wish the help would happen a little more often, but as I said before, I did it to myself. Again, Im not complaining.

If I’m being honest I’m falling short. I’m exhausted. So does it take a bigger person than me to say I can’t do that? The simple answer is I don’t know, but I’m starting to feel like a cliche. I’m spreading myself to thin, got too many balls in the air, my plate is full, my cup is running over……At this point I don’t think I can come up with another real reason as to why I haven’t finished something on time or forgotten to pay a bill. So suffice it to say that I think I am in good company, many women I know feel like they aren’t doing enough well enough. Guess what? You’re right.

So what is the trick to not becoming me. Say no and set flexible realistic time lines for what you are taking on. Get a calendar and write everything down, so you don’t miss deadlines and get a grip for what you are doing on a daily basis.

I began revising my calendar and giving myself real time lines. I’m no good with walking away from commitments I’ve already made, so, am I making significant enough changes so that I don’t feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions. I have to. I can say with some certainty that I am on the road to recovery.

The answer to my question is no you can’t be everything to everyone. At the end of the day, the only thing I’m 100% sure about is that even when I’m tired, cranky, running late, drinking too much coffee, staying up way too late to finish things I needed yesterday and making no apologies, I am who I am.

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First post ever…..I am Who I am.

I am Who I am.

I  am a mom. A wife. A daughter.

I am a Mom. If you had told me 10 years ago that I was going to be a mother of 2, I would have laughed you out of the room. Seriously, I was dedicated to my job, I loved my freedom, and cherished my solitude. There were no ties to anything, I could go as I pleased and curse like a truck driver. I wasn’t worried about upsetting anyone with my opinion or what family politics I needed to play. Take me as I am or don’t take me at all was my motto. This was the blow that burst the me-me-me bubble. I became a breeder. To my surprise I wouldn’t change a moment of the whole mom career. I’m still that person save the freedom, cursing, family politics….anyway I still don’t care what people think of my opinions.

I am a wife. I had a serious aversion to the confines of marriage. I never believed that because you signed a piece of paper and some guy in a funny hat said you were married that you were married. I never believed that I was meant to have a partner for life. I was happy right where I was. In the me-me-me bubble, where if its meant to be its meant to be. I, ofcourse, undeniably fell head over heels in love with a man who 7 years later continues to set a standard impossible to reach by anyone. He is my partner, he takes me as I am.

I am a daughter. I was the single child of a single mother. My step-dad left when I was 10 and my mother brought me up alone and without any help. I had everything I ever needed and then some. My mother is the very example of a strong independent woman, with an extraordinary talent for choosing poor partners. She has been married 3 times and divorced 3 times. And I judged her. I always judged her. A woman whose sole purpose in life was to take care of me without ever thinking about herself and when she did I judged her. After I wiped the stupid from my eyes I saw who she really was. My mother. A woman. With weaknesses, dreams and hopes. Someone that in anyone elses eyes has lived through the best and worst of times and has done so with dignity. Most impressively has kept her heart open and maintained a smile on her face. I hope that I have an ounce of the strength in my heart that she has modeled for me in her life. She is my Mami, she takes me as I am.

Tie it up with a little bow and call me a woman. We are expected to be so many things to so many people, it’s a wonder that we don’t end up in the loony bin more often. We are all flawed and those flaws make us whole. Im going to explore those flaws in myself and see how they fit into the roles that define me. My opinion is that you need to make sure that you know your most important roles, they define you.

I hope you take that journey with me, maybe you’ll learn something about you. Perhaps you will teach me something about me. No matter were we end up don’t forget, I am who I am.

Holy Cow!!! What am I thinking doing this now?

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Two years ago I started a blog on another site and dreamily thought that I’d keep it up and I would have thousands of fans that would love my writing and I’d eventually end up with a book series based on my life.

Well??  No that didn’t happen.  I will post those articles here you guys can catch up.  I have a new goal before I can move into that stage of my life where I’m freely writing and sharing myself with you.  I am screaming when I say this, I NEED TO BE DEBT FREE, there I said it.  My family and I need to free ourselves of this lead weight we have attached to our lives.

Currently, I am a hot mess, and the worst part is its starting to show.  I’m cracking at the seams.  So how in the world am I going to accomplish this feat.  Slowly and pointedly.   I have to set goals, I will post those as soon as I have them figured out what the first and most important should be.

Here is a little about me.  I am a married,  mother of two gorgeous and very active girls.  I have several jobs, yah several!  I have a great husband and a ridiculously supportive family.  I am what has been coined as a Super Mom.

One who is no feeling so super right now!