Is this who we are?

3 years ago I still had hope that this country could open their eyes and see the monster that had just been elected to the highest office in this country.  I thought, maybe just maybe, we can turn this around.  Just use facts and reason, I said to myself.  But alas no.  This xenophobic, misogynistic, egotistical poor excuse for a human being is still there undoing decades worth of forward progress.

We are a country built on immigrants and now for the 3rd time in our short history we have herded human beings like animals and put them in internment camps or concentration camps.  Because the collective government “we” has decided that this group of people are dangerous and are costing the American public more than just money. Apparently, even if you study history you are bound to repeat it.

When will our shouts of terror be heard?  How is it that America is not decrying the acts of terrorism this president (lowercase is on purpose) is committing and he is still there.  How are we continuing to allow this?  How has the moral, ethical majority not knocked down those walls?  How are speecehes and articles and spewing the disgust helping these babies that cannot fall asleep on their mothers chest or look into their fathers eyes.

The Children’s camps are costing us $775 per day per child.  Why?  Why are we spending money to keep children away from their parents, away from loving homes,  we are creating a generation of dissent and mistrust with both every person in the camps, with those babies that are being held in the camps and with Us.  The American Public.  The ones who disagree and are vehemently opposed to the atrocities that we are witnessing.  These are human beings who want a better life, want to help their children have a better life, working, yes working, all those jobs that are deemed to low for even the homeless people who have set up tent cities in the middle of downtown Los Angeles.

We have jailed thousands of children.  We have jailed women and men who have done nothing wrong.  They are being housed like animals and not being provided with essential needs.  Did we not learn from the Internment Camps during WWII?  Or the Trail of Tears?

This is not the America I believe in.  This is not the world I want to live in.  What kind of world do you want to live in?  Do something!

I am who I am.

Read.  Read everything.  Don’t just read those who agree with you…read the opposing views.  Form your own opinion.  Inform yourself.  See below…



It’s March! What?

It’s March! Where does time go? It dissipates into the atmosphere and robs us of our lives. I was never one of those kids who thought that time went by too slowly, I was an anomaly. I blinked and a year passed, I went to bed and woke up three years older before I knew it I was driving, then I was in college. Now I am married to an amazing man, living a life I did not expect to have and I have two ridiculously great kids.

Now I’m here. This is really the start. I’ve had some very scary holy s–t! moments in the last year. So I am going to accredit my delusion to that, no worries I know I am deferring blame to offset the fact that I have not completed what I set out to do almost 3 years ago. I hope that you read my past blogs and get to know me a bit and follow this journey.

Here are my goals for the next 24 months:
1. To become debt free
2. To learn to communicate to my husband about money
3. To simplify my life
4. To organize my schedule

These are really attainable goals for anyone but if you knew the mess I have created for myself financially perhaps this will be more of an action adventure journey than a button the hatches and just take care of business.

Tonight I have to sit with my husband and go over all of our finances…something I have kept him out of for years. I didn’t want him to stress about it and selfishly I didn’t want things to feel oppressive for me. I have done a horrible job of managing the little bit that we had…It was just too much for me to handle on my own without including him. I have pulled money out of places that I shouldn’t have pulled money from to make up each month. Drowning each month, feeling a little more faded and a lot more lost each time I didn’t discuss the issues with my husband. The reality and result of that is that I have damaged my relationship with my soul mate and best friend. Now I have to work backwards to rebuild that and my heartbreak comes in that no matter how open I become and how healthy we get our finances, there will always be a drop of doubt in his heart that I may be leaving something out. I hope I am wrong because like I said he is amazing, not perfect, but a truly good guy.

I know I am not alone but I am now putting it all out there because the alternative is not an option anymore.

Good or bad, I am who I am.